#SoG150 - Ask. Not Expect.

Ask. Not expect. (#SoG150)

When I started, no one, not even me expected to last this long. But I did. Yay!
I started with these letters because of the persistent efforts of Harshit and Krishna. And I am glad that I gave in. When I was starting this series, I had a few objectives in mind. Here is a list.

One, learn more.
Someone said that if you want to learn about a thing, you ought to teach that. This was my way of teaching. I wrote in #SoG1, "And more importantly, most times I write, it teaches me new things" And I am definitely learning! To a point that not a day goes by where I am not left wondering about the range of things that I am not aware of!

Two. Grow my network.
In #SoG1, I wrote, "writing allows me to connect with people. Both known or unknown."
I postulated that these letters would reach further than a tweet or a blog. And this reach would help me grow my network. And as a byproduct of knowing so many people, I would get access to more and more people that are smarter than I. I have got some access but this is something that I need to work on. The trouble is that most things I write tend to be so simple and so commonsensical to the ones better than me that I don't add any value to those. Do you know of a solution?

Three. Create.
Again, in #SoG1, I said, "The other thing about writing is that it gives me the illusion that I am creating something. And to me, creating is THE thing that I want to stand for."
I am creating FOR sure.
Each day when I write a letter (well, most days), I am creating. I know that most things I write are not original thoughts. In fact, I am merely rehashing what is already out there! But then if I were to trust the comments I get, I think I am doing a decent job of adding to the readers.

And just for fuck sake, here is #SoG1, #SoG50 and and all the other letters that I've written since 27th Oct 2018.

And after this mile-long prologue, the thing for the day.

Ask. Not Expect.

So, what's an Expect?
Say you are a manager at a big MNC. You work hard in the entire year and at the time of your appraisal, you expect your boss to look favourably at the year gone by and give you a huge hike.

Another example. When you walk into a restaurant, you expect a certain kind of service and you expect a certain quality of food.

More. You expect that you will live long. And you expect that those long years of life would be healthy, happy and meaningful.

Expect is what you allow the world, allow the external factors, allow the strangers to give you. Get the drift?

And what's an Ask?
An ask is what you believe you deserve for the time or energy you'd put into a certain thing. Or an ask is the exchange value of what you pay for. Lemme use the same examples. Rather than expecting to get a raise, go to your manager and ask him for a certain raise (and of course work hard to deserve that raise). At a restaurant, you ask for the best seat, things that are not on the menu, request the chef to prepare your meal by himself. Rather than expecting to live long, ask yourself what could you do to live longer and healthier.

Ask is when you go out and demand a certain value for yourself. For your time. For your efforts. For your work. For your inputs.

And of course, an ask is typically followed by a certain action. In fact, if you don't act, you cant expect to get anywhere. Let alone get what you ask for.

And you MUST be able to back up that ask with "delivery" that makes the giver gloat in pride to have given you what you asked for!

So, the idea for the day?
When possible, ask. Not expect. Ask till a point that your current ask becomes the expect. And you can move onto higher asks. Till you orbit to a point that makes you the best version of you.

Put forth what you want, ask for that. And then let them give you. Of course, you will get rejected (SoG149) but you can't stop asking. Till it becomes your second nature. In fact, if you couple this with what I wrote in #SoG149, the entire thing about 'asking and not expecting' could be a really powerful tool that will not just take you closer to your goals but will take you there faster! Try it!

Oh, in the end, just a word of caution. Please do not confuse ask with snatch. Snatch is when you forcibly take what is not rightfully yours.

That's about it! Have a great day!

Thanks for your time,
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TAGS: Self-respect, Freelance life, Solopreneur, Ask, Expect, BeBetter, WorkBetter.


I am looking for someone to work with me. I can't afford to pay a lot but I can promise that if you are willing to work hard, I WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO TAKE YOU CLOSER TO YOUR LIFEGOAL. I mean it. If you are interested, read this and lemme know if you are in.