On Failing. (#SoGv2 - 48)

On failing (SoGv2 - 48).

Good evening!

This one is sort of personal. Please cut me some slack!

I am going to talk about three recent instances where I have failed miserably. Failed so bad that I considered quitting and settling for that life of mediocrity where I have this office from 9 to 5 and then on the weekends, I am faking happiness by engaging in weekend shenanigans.

1. SoGv2 Series
This is probably one of the most important projects that I have taken up in life. Ever. And I know the importance. And I know the impact that the project can have on my life. And the impact that it can make on others!

And even though I know the importance, I haven't been able to stay consistent with it. Proof? Last time I sent this letter, it was the 25th of last month. Some 10-12 days ago. And I had plans of being consistent with things! Wow, Mr. Garg!

The funny thing is that I have identified these letters (and writing in general) as the work of my life and yet I am unable to push things. You know, how people discover their life's purpose and yet they don't do a thing about it? That!

It's a crime. I can make all the excuses for all I care. But the fact of the matter remains that I have failed at being consistent.

2. Public Speaking
It is not a secret that I aspire to be able to stand on stage and deliver discourses that make people take notice and change their destinies. Well, lemme change mine first.

The day before I got my first opportunity to stand on the stage and talk to some 100 people about something that I know like the back of my hand. And I failed. So bad that I know I did not belong on the stage.

Plus now that I have slept over it, I think I am surer that I was not ready for it. I should've said no. Or maybe I should've prepared harder and not be that overconfident dude that I was!

I think the magic that a Steve Jobs could create on stage is the result of immense preparation. Like an artist. I need to prepare more. I need to be LOT more better than what I am right now.

3. Rabbi Shergill
I did not talk about this earlier but a few days ago (when I was not writing the letter), I got an opportunity to work with Rabbi Shergill - yeah, the Bulla Ki Jaana person. It was like a dream come true. Rabbi has been an inspiration since at least 15 years now!

I gave it a shot and I failed to even elicit a response from him. I put in all the heart and soul and everything I had to work on it and yet I could not create an idea that could leave an impact. I asked people that I know are great with ideas and things. Some of them helped me but the ideas remained week at best.

Sucks to have squandered away the opportunity that very few people get. In case you want to see what I wrote for him, lemme know and I will share.

***

So, three things that I failed at. Proud of those. And miserable about those.

Lessons?
1. Keep at it
Even though there are days that I don't write, I keep coming back to the letters. The thing that I am implementing here is that you need to keep at it despite all setbacks. Some day it will make sense. I don't know when though. But apparently, it will. Soon.

2. Fake it till you make it
The opportunity to speak came my way because I performed well at multiple smaller places and did an exemplary job at em. When presented with the opportunity, I latched onto it. I had to. There was no other way of finding out how I'd perform.

Because I faked it, I got the opportunity. And I realized that I suck. So, I need to work hard and learn. Which I will.

The point is, fake it till you make it and invite all opportunities your way.

3. Try hard till you succeed
The opportunity to work with Rabbi happened because I kept emailing him, messaging him and all that. He caved in and allowed me to pitch. I may have failed at it but I did "win" in getting his attention.

The point? There is no alternative to hard work. Some people may have won the Ovarian Lottery and clearly, you and I haven't won it - so hard work remains our thing!

***

PS: I know I am too harsh on myself but I really set really high standards for myself. And while I may not be the greatest in terms of what I do, I definitely want to be the one working the hardest. And with time, the smartest. And like AG tells me, negative motivation may not work for everyone, I think it does for me. I think the holy grail is in being afraid of my failures. You know, what I wrote in my last letter?

PPS: While we are at it, this month, I started to write a monthly letter to people who have helped me in my career (here is the full, unabridged text). I plan to write one every month but I may not post the subsequent ones on my blog. In case you want those, please do let me know.

Until next time, when I have a tad fewer things to talk about failure, failing and other such, over and out!

Congrats for succeeding to read about failing!
Thanks,
Till next time,
@saurabh
1819, Golden Tobacco Studio, Mumbai
SoGv2-48.


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TAGS: Failure, Personal

STREAK: 1

PS: As I write this, I am listening to I Hope You Dance.