#untitled (#SoGv2 - 26)
|Jun 26, 2019|
#untitled - 26 Jun 2019
Last time I wrote this (SoGv2-24), I said that I hadn't looked at the computer apart from the time I took to write the letter. Little did I know that I wouldn't be able to do so for two more days (yesterday and today; except writing these letters). Which could be a great thing for a lot of people. But not so good for me. You see, I breathe when I am a computer. I like the idea of working. It may or may not amount to much - may not give me the money or the power or the impact that I wish to make. But I like it. You know, working for the sake of working?
Just that in the last two days, I've fallen sick (fever and headache et al) and that means I haven't been able to even look at a screen (except the TV to see reruns of Taarak Mehta - I love em!). It took me great effort to write the one yesterday. It's taking me greater effort to write this one. But then, there is a streak of 25 that I need to keep going. And like they say, these letters have sort of become a raison d'etre.
So, every time I fall sick, I make a promise to myself that I will do everything that I can to not fall sick again. I can't handle my sickness well :( I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to do anything. I don't like to sleep beyond a point. I don't like that I can't move. I don't know how many other don'ts there are! And thus I try hard to not fall sick again - I don't drink water that is not bottled, I don't eat crap, I try and get sleep, I stay away from arguments, etc. etc.
And yet I fall sick over and over again. No, no. I am not perpetually ill or something. Like I said, I can't handle my sickness well.
So, I HAVE to make drastic changes in how I live. In terms of how I eat, how I sleep, how I do things. Who I talk to. Where I go and all that. No more compromises on any damn thing. Not even for work. I HAVE to come ahead of everything else.
I am actually glad that I feel sick. I at least have my priorities in place. Time to sleep, get better in due course. And then, change the world ;P
Just that this is a vow that I've taken multiple times in the past. I need to work on this, this time. Wish me luck!
Thank you for reading!
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